Just a few funnies that our customers and friends have sent us.
If
you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
When
I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about
how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five
miles to school every morning.... Uphill...
Barefoot... BOTH
ways... yadda, yadda, yadda
And
I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was
going to lay a bunch of crap
like that on my kids about how hard I
had it and how easy
they've
got it!
But
now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look
around
and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood, you live in a darn
Utopia!
And
I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've
got
it!
I
mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves,
in the card catalog!!
There
was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a
pen! Then
you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox, and
it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10
cents!
Child
Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter
of
fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our
ass!
Nowhere was safe!
There
were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music,
you
had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it
yourself!
Or
you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ
would
usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no
CD
players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favourite
tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come
undone
rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby!
Dig?
We
didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone
and
somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's
it!
There
weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you
just
didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out
of touch
with your "friends". OH MY !!! Think of the horror... not being in
touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah,
right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you
are.
And
we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had
no idea
who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your
bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't
know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances,
mister!
We
didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with
high-resolution
3-D graphics! We had
the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'.
Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use
your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens,
it
was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The
game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until
you
died! Just like LIFE!
You
had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were
screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your
ass
and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!!
Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
There
was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to
wait ALL
WEEK for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!
And
we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we
had
to use the stove! Imagine that!
And
our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh,
no,
no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back
inside...
you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd